On the other hand, Rav Chaim Pinchus Scheinberg (cited in Radiance of Shabbos page 74) ruled that soda, orange and apple juice and milk are Chamar Medinah, and may be used for Kiddush and Havdalah.
The Aderes (Over Orach 296:2), considers tea and coffee to be Chamar Medinah, as one would honor a guest with a glass of tea or coffee, but does not consider milk to be Chamar Medinah.
The Maharsham (Daas Torah 296:2) has an interesting position about milk. In a previous Halacha Yomis we cited the view of some that Chamar Medinah is limited to intoxicating beverages. The Maharsham suggests that milk is intoxicating based on Kerisos 13b that a Cohen may not perform the Avodah in the Beis Hamikdash after drinking milk. (Presumably, milk is intoxicating in the sense that it causes drowsiness and affects a person’s mental state). For the same reason, the Rogitchover (Shu’t Tzofnas Paneach 2:34) considers milk a more suitable choice than tea. On the other hand, Rav Y.D. Soloveichik (MiPeninei Harav p. 72) rejects the comparison between Avodah and Chamar Medinah. Milk invalidates a Cohen for Avodah because it causes drowsiness while Chamar Medinah is limited to actual intoxication.
In conclusion, it should be obvious to the reader that there are a wide range of opinions regarding Chamar Medinah, and it is difficult to make a definitive Psak. As such, every effort should be made to use only wine, and when not available, a beverage of intoxication.
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